Lucas - Chicken Pox or Hand Foot and Mouth Disease?

Lucas just turned one and we took him to the doctors for his 1 year standard immunization shots.
3 weeks later, Lucas had a slight fever, nothing too serious as he was still his playful self.
But after the fever wore off, he started to get bumps all over his hands, back, behind his knees and ankles.
The spots were like blisters all consentrated in areas where his ezema usually is. 

Maurice, my husband, also started to feel very ill. He had hot cold flashes, no appetite, sore throat and was so weak, I had to feed him soup. We all went to the clinic and baby was diagnosed with chicken pox and daddy was diagnosed with either strep throat or flu. 

Ok, this is normal, I thought, every child gets chicken pox and the earlier the better I guess, so he doesn't remember it. We stayed home 3 days (rough three days for me as I had to care for a big baby and a little one) . Lucas's spots started to disapear so I brought him to his grandma's for the day. Well well well, when I picked him up, grandma seemed "tired".  Maurice's sister, also mentioned, she didn't feel very well.
BOTH Maurice's sister and Maurice started to break out in bumps all over their hands and feet.

What is going on? Maurice's sister went to the doctors and was diagnosed with hand foot and mouth disease.

As of today, Maurice has recovered and is back to work, Lucas has recovered and with his grandma, Grandma is feeling better with no break outs, and I think Maurice's sister is back to work too.

and me? I feel fine. weird. Maybe it's my autoimmune that is keeping whatever this is away.

What Does Quitting Religion Look Like?

So it's been a couple month's since my last post and also my last visit to a church.

It's funny how people are concerned about my church attendance. I suppose it's from good intentions and because they care, but frankly, I really prefer not to be monitored.

It's a crucial time, especially with the launch of El-Shaddai's Library and here I am wanting to quit being religious. Perhaps I've gone astray? Being too liberal?  ....

God reminded me today the purpose of the book store!  I went into the public library to borrow books on business plans and parenting. As I browsed the cataloque, I jotted down some call numbers. One of the numbers I jotted down (which was suppose to be either parenting or business plans), lead me to this book! 

 

HEALING!  HEALING! HEALING!

Our world is so broken, so numb, so lofty, we forget about our wounds. Layers are healed over, but the wounds still lie raw beneath.  Many people who have experienced trauma, like myself, reach out in silence to self help books. I dream that El-Shaddai's will be a place for people to reach out to and feel welcomed, not judged, totally accepted and free to borrow books, videos, or music to enrich their healing journey.

Sure it's Christian materials, I too felt like I couldn't trust Christian views on certain topics, like verbal abuse. I thought Christian authors would tell me to turn the other cheek and take it, forgive, yadi yadi yadi...   But on Sunday, (yes, I skipped church), the alarm to El-Shaddai's went off. Someone opened the front door. So I drove down to see if we had someone break in. Well good news, nothing was stolen, just the door was unlocked. 

"Ok, here I am God! You obviously called me"  - browsing the shelves, i found a book on verbal abuse. (I've been looking for one and found none, not even in the public library).  -  and guess what? It's amazing!  Really, sound practical solutions. This book is giving me strength to stand firm, to know my worth, to NOT be a door mat!   -

I dont' know how I ended up here - my blog was suppose to be about quitting Religion.

Perhaps this is how it looks like?

Lucas is 10 months old and Mommy's Back To Work

I feel GREAT!

I heard many mommy's complain about how its easy to loose yourself as a mom and now I can understand with all the self denying, self sacrificing, and simply lack of time for self nurturing tendencies. On top of that, I realized that my Christian walk has been warped and out of wack. I forgot all about "loving others AS I LOVE MYSELF" 

Who am I, What do I like, What do I want, What would I do?
The I in my relationships and marriage started to fade and soon, with that my self-esteem.  When we deny ourselves, I found that my body started to speak for me, feelings would rise (guilt, jelousy), and stress level with that.

However, today, I feel GREAT; Why?

1. Developing a Personal Style

For 9 months during pregnancy and 9 months after, all I wore was baby doll tops, lots of BLACK, and sweats. I can walk into a store and feel that NOTHING there will look nice on ME. Having a husband consistantly bugging me to where mini skirts doesn't help either; because that's just not ME.
So I started to browse magazines and downloaded some fashion apps for mon my iphone to browse and take note of what I liked and what I didn't like. Then I CLEANED out my closet tossing everything that I didn't fit anymore, especially items I've saved thinking I will one day fit those again! Nope Gone, I don't care! Finally, I went shopping for a something I REALLY liked and didn't care whether it was on sale or not, because I AM WORTH IT! haha!

2. Back to Work

Being back to work at what I do best, Accounting has been so liberating. It's one area I know I can.
Being able to dress up, talk to people in non baby language, and simply be an adult is new and exciting. The boys at work thinking that I"m onlyy 24 helps too:) hehe  In addition; having the extra income now eliviates our financial stress and we can move into managing our finances and not let our finances manage us. (Mo and I)

3.  Stopped Being Religious

Believe it or not, after 10 years of going to church and being a Christian, I QUIT!
I recently finished a book by Andrew Farley "God without Religion" and it's help me put on new lens as I view my faith.

4. Loving Myself with No Guilt

I'm starting to honor myself and love myself with NO GUILT by making time for myself, tidying, and simply listening to my feelings, needs, and wants.  The next hardest thing is finding and using my voice to assert what I need and want.

But ofcourse not always, I still have that nagging thought " oh but that is so selfish"; 

People who judge don't matter, and people who matter don't judge! 

5. Marriage Counselling

Mo and I are going to marriage counselling and its really helped us understand each other, how to communicate, and also what our boundaries are with each other.  I can't change anyone including my husband, but I can certainly change myself and my reactions.  - To give someone freedom and honoring his choices has freed and empowered me to make my own choices and actions. I feel closer to him and can embrace each day with him. (almost each day .. hehe)

6. El-Shaddai'sThe store is now self-sustaining after its 3rd year of operating. Though its been hard work with huge financial stress; I think the hard part is over  and now we (my partner and I) have more freedom and resources to create new projects and ideas to help improve the business / ministry. Our team there is so helpful, and gifted in different ways. Truly its not just a ministry to our customers, but its been a place of healing for myself.

7. Friendships & Family

Spending more time with friend's and family, accepting help, talking about my struggles, and reaching out has helped me nurture and develop the relationships that mean most in my life. Many friends have come and go, but there is a handful, that hold a special place in my heart.

8. My Mom

Being a mom, has opened my eyes, to the depth of love my own mother has for me. For those who know me well, its been a rough journey with my mother or lack of. However, during my time of financial need, she really poured into my life, her time, her effort, and her love. I'm truly thankful for her and can see what an awesome mother she is.

Well I hope this list for me continues and that I can come back to this and reflect on days I don't feel so great! :) - 

Any hoo, thanks for reading and I hope you have a GGGGGGRRRRRREAT DAY!!!

 

Psychoneuroimmunology - When the Body Says No

Psychoneuroimmunology??? What the heck is that?  It is the study of the interaction between psychological processes and the nervous and immune systems of the human body.

Well, I just finished reading a book written by Gabor Mate titled, When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection, and it has confirmed my initial belief that this yucky RA autoimmune disease is emotionally related, not just physi

cal.

He uses many stories and examples from people who have the same illnesses and found that a few common factors existed in all which are:

1. Childhood trauma / loss
2. Inability to say no / lack of boundaries
3. Repression of emotions especially anger
4. Serving everyone else but themselves
5. Lack of self worth and self awareness

6. Driven (to compensate for #5)

He also mentions that hidden stresses from our early programming, becomes a pattern so entrenched in our being that it feels normal. In other words, our minds don't even realize it; but our bodies are (well at least mine is) is crying out "no". 

Recently I've also explored professional counselling to seek healing from inside out. After a few sessions, I came to realize that I am always on guard as if I am perpetually in danger. Though my mind knows I'm not; my body still thinks I am and reacts. Hence anxiety level rises, my immune system is wonky and attacking, (except it's attacking the wrong thing, myself), and finally I end up judging myself. 

Both Gabor and my counsellor mentioned that self love and acceptance is crucial in the healing process.

One example in the book healed through daily practice of emotional self-inventory and of self-love that, little by little, "unfroze" each part of her body.  He dedicates a chapter on healing using 7 A's as acronyms for

1. Acceptance - Embrace our individuality and uniqueness, both strengths and weaknesses

2. Awareness - Be aware of our emotions, our bodies, our stressors

3. Anger - Allow anger to motivate healthy action

4. Autonomy - Develop our internal centre of control

5. Attachment - To allow and enjoy genuine emotional support from others

6. Assertion - To just BE, irrespective of action

7. Affirmation - To affirm our creative expressions and our connectedness (mine being today, writing)

Am I flaring now? Yes, my wrists are today, the question is Why? What is my body saying no to?
I guess it's something I'm going to have to ask, pay attention and listen for. 

No to self judgement and expectations
No to expectations from others
No to verbal abuse

No to hostile environments

No to demands from work
No to needy people

No No No!!!

6 - Month Baby Lucas Update

So Lucas is actually 7 months now, but I previously wrote that I will give an update at 6 months, so here are his stats first:

STATS

Weight:                   17.3 pounds (50% percentile)

Height:                    70cm (75% percentile)
Head:                      I forgot but it was (50% percentile)

OVERALL HEALTH

Besides  a slight fever after his 3 month's vaccines, Lucas has not been sick at all. (As a mom I worry and I wonder whether it's because his immune system is on over drive like mine. Gosh, here I am worrying if he is sick and worrying if he's not sick). He does have eczema though behind his knees, elbows and ears and we use California Babies Calendula cream - Always sold out at Target! (US only)
http://www.californiababy.com/calendula-cream-2-oz.html
Hydrocortizone seems to work too, but we prefer to use something more natural.

FEEDS

Lucas started organic rice cereal at 4 months. Then at 6 months we introduced congee -
He LOVES the chicken congee that his grandmother makes. He doesn't like oatmeal, or any of the jar baby foods, except for the fruits and vegtables. Likely schedule:

7:00 am - breast milk
9:00 am - 1/2 bowl (chinese rice bowl) congee mixed with rice cereal PLUS
1/4 bowl wheat, strawberry yogurt cereal
10:00 am - breast milk
12:00 am - 1/4 to 1/2 bowl of congee
2:00 pm - breast milk
4:00 pm - cracker / fruit snack / offer milk
6:00 pm - 1/2 bowl of congee / offer milk
9:00 pm  - breastmilk

I'm currently making congee every 2 days for this little guy. Basically boil rice, with organic vegtables (carrots / zuccini / spinich / yam) and chicken. Then grind up the larger chunks in magic bullet, mix and store in fridge.

SLEEP

Lucas sleeps in his crib, but wakes up throughout the night.Usually once at midnight, then 2am, then 5am and 7am. I nurse him back to sleep and sleep myself each time.


MILESTONES & PERSONALITY

Lucas likes to growl and can get agressive when he is determined or fixated on an item within his reach. Perhaps this is why he has pushed himself up to sitting, rolled over to his target object, and tries to crawl ( I call it the swimming position).

However as I'm typing today, Lucas is actually 7 months and he has started crawling now to his destination!!!

He is a happy baby most of the time :) Very easily amused with peekaboo, sing song noises and/or funny faces. For an immediate giggle, bring him to look at himself in a mirror:) On the bus, he tends to scrunch his  eyebrows at people with a look of "who the heck are you?" and if he is tired on top of that, he just stares - LOL Some people call him a deep thinker.   Most of the time, when people smile at him, he flashes a smile right back. From my observation, Lucas is extroverted - He loves being around people and other children and will kick his legs in excitement and giggle.

MOST MEMORABLE

We celebrated our first father's day this year! I use to be sad on father's day as I reflect on my fatherless years. 

However, this year, I am truly blessed to have celebrated father's day with Maurice and Lucas! Plus I connected with my biological father in HK. From this year forward I will look forward to father's day:)


Enbrel & Breastfeeding
I'm currently injecting Enbrel twice a month since I've cut out the list of allergic foods from my diet.
Cutting out certain foods seem to be helping (excpet I had a beer a couple days ago without realizing that it is made from wheat) and my wrist swelled up till now.  Any how, Enbrel does not seem to have compromised Lucas's immune system and he seems to be doing well. The rheumatologist had said that Enbrel is a protein anyways and if ingested will just breakdown and pass through his body without affecting him.

Well thanks for reading! I'll provide an update soon re: Naturalpath and healing of RA

Finding Cure for RA with Natural Remedies (cont.) - Natural Path Update

Hello!!! So it's been a couple months since I've provided an update pertaining to the healing of this Rheumatoid Arthristis auto immune yucky illness.

Here's a summary of events.
2005 - Diagnosed with RA
           I've tried methotrexate, plaquinil, sulphasalazine, and now on Enbrel (1 injection every 2 weeks)
2007 - Trip to China for 4 months and RA went into remission
2010 - Pregnant while on Enbrel


Here we are in year 2011 and the birth of my baby has given me a reason beyond myself to be healthy and seek a cure for this disease.

In march I tried Acupunture to treat the inflamed joints and it was useless; rather it made my joints worse!
The chinese medical practitioner aslo recommended me herbal medication; but did not email me the ingredients as I asked, so I gave up on him.

In April, I booked my self in to see a Natural Path. - He booked me in for a blood test and below are my results, which I just got today. Surprise suprise! I'm allergic to my favorite foods - so weird.
Basically, the numbers to the left indicate the number of antibodies my body produces to fight the particular food allergen - for example EGGS

My body has developed 2472 antibodies to fight EGGS. The normal level should be only 111.
Taking a look at the number of  foods that are in the avoid category, no wonder why my immune system is on overdrive! (by the way this is only page 1, the entire report is 4 pages)

 .

Additional Supplements presribed by Natural Path

I have never popped so many pills in my life; but for the sake of healing I will.  So here goes:

1. Rehmannia & Scrophularia Herbal Supplement (2 pills, 3 times /day)
2. Curcumin SAP antioxidant (1 pill, 3 times / day)
3. Recovery SAP probiotics (1 pill / day)
4. EGCG SAP ultra antioxidant (1pill, 3 times / day)
5. Omega - D3 Liquid (1 tsp, 2 times / day)

In addtion, I am continuing with Enbrel injection twice a month.

The Natural Path doctor reassured me that the supplements will not harm my baby; rather be very good for him too.

Next Action: continue with Enbrel twice / week, supplements per above for 1 month, try my best to stick to this new diet

6 Month Baby Lucas Schedule

Lucas is almost 6 months old and I feel like I still don't have a routine / schedule.
So I tried to document my last 2 days to find a similar rythem- here goes:

Tuesday - Schedule (Good Day)
6:45 am wake up, change diaper.
6;50 am play
7:05 am feed
7:20 am lay in bed w mommy
7:30 am sit in saucer
7:45 am nap
9:40 amwake up sit saucer
10:00 am eat cereal
10:40 am play
11:15 am feed
11:30 am do laundry w mommy
12:00 pm play mat
12:15 pm feed
12:22 pm nap
12:45 pm move laundry to dryer w mom
1:20 pm diaper change
1:20 pm walk to bank
2:50 pm feed
3:00 pm walk back
3:15 pm nap (mommy do chores)
4:35 pm wake up, change diaper
4:40 pm feed
4:55 pm watch daddy play video
5:15 pm eat cereal little bit
6:00 pm swimming (mommy can work out)
6:3o pm shower change diaper
7:20 pm feed
7:30 pm change poo poo diaper n clothes
7:40 pm quick shower
7:45 pm feed
8:00 pm nap
10:00 pm feed bit, change diaper
10:20 pm saucer
10:30 pm feed bit and sleep
2:00 am feed
4:00 am feed
5:00 am feed

Wednesday - Schedule Tiring and Frustrating Day

7:25 am wake up, change diaper
7:35 am feed a bit
7:40 am saucer
8:00 am feed then nap
10:00 am wake up and feed
10:10 am Play
10:30 am ate bit cereal
11:00 am play in crib
11:20 am feed
11:30 am sit in saucer getting fussy
12:00 pm lay with mommy in bed try to sleep (no)
12:10 pm play mat (fussy)
12:20 pm crib (fussy)
12:30 pm nap
1:00 pm wake up, feed
1:15 pm saucer
1:30 pm playmat
2:00 pm short walk to get mommy coffee
3:00 pm saucer
3;05 pm short feed
3:10 pm play on mommy's lap
3:20 pm play on futon mat, video rollover n giggles
3:40 pm feed
3:45 pm nap while mommy folds laundry
4:15 pm wake up help mommy archive clothes that are too small - (fussy)
5:00 pm refuse cereal
5:15 pm in crib (fussy)
5:25 play w daddy!!! - mommy goes for 1/2 walk
6:30 pm feed
6:40 pm nap
7:00 pm wakup, watch mommy cook
7:45 pm refuse breast, too bottle
8:00 pm in crib fussy
8:15 pm took rest of bottle
8:30 pm nap
9:30 pm wake up n cuddle
10:00 pm sleep

I'm posting this at 10:30 pm now, so will update to see if there is a pattern with night wakings and feeding times.

Phew I feel pooped and I want 4 kids. Wow!