Work Life Balance - Children, Career, Marriage, Finances, Social Life

Here I am blogging about "Work Life Balance" when its been over 5 months since my last post!

As you see, I've been consumed with the demands of life especially with my 2 young children, career, finances, social life, and marriage.  My health has been good. No complaints here. Enbrel is still working and I've decreased my dosage to twice month and quarterly check ins with my specialist.  

However, some recent economic changes has led me to ask whether to decrease or increase my work load. I think this is a question, many mothers face these days. 

On one hand lies the opportunity to advance my career objectives, gain more experience, and of course more MONEY! and yet on the other hand lies the opportunity to be present with my children to nurture, teach, and lay the foundation of their lives for their future. Many women would argue that being a SAHM would be best, while others argue that financial stability would better the family's future.  There is no right answer, but I hope some of the following articles will shed some light for you as it did for me. 

Career and Motherhood - Panel Interview
I found this video very intriguing and hopeful as it shows 4 career women balancing the life of motherhood and advancing their careers. Its no doubt though that these women all have chosen and created their own environment that works for them. Career and motherhood does not have to be mutually exclusive but can be synergistic and rewarding.

Forbes Article: Why I Have Regrets About Being a Stay At Home Mom
This article reinforced my decision to continue pursuing my career, finding quality opportunities over quantity. 

Here's a summary of some tips I have found helpful

1. Be Mindful and Present  - No matter what you are doing, whether work or play, be present. Its easy to get side tracked thinking about the "got tos", or checking emails on your smart phone. Rather make each moment count by being fully present to capture each moment with your children, friends and loved ones and the same goes with work. Blocking out time to be fully present at work will lead to better productivity and efficiency. 

2. Schedule Time to Nurture and Work on Marriage - I am no expert here, but we plan date nights once a week to nurture our marriage as well as counselling once a week to work on our marriage. I believe the best thing we can provide for our children is a good model of a healthy marriage. Also a healthy marriage will be the catalyst for healthy parenting. 

3. Take Daily Time-Outs - I thought time outs were only for kids, but we need them too! Pay attention to your mood and body. If you are getting cranky or tired, best to take a time out whether it be 2 mins or 2 hours to rejuvenate. 

4. Connect with Your Friends - With both work, marriage, and children, its easy to isolate in the busyness of life without socializing with your friends. Plan a night out with just you and your friends and have some fun! If the week is too busy, even a phone call will do wonders for your soul. 

5. Use your Village - It takes a village to raise a child! Use your resources if they are available and don't be shy to ask, whether it be parents, inlaws, siblings, or even hired help. 

6. Create a Budget - It's easy to loose sight of finances especially with all the "needs" we have raising children.  Creating a budget it self is the start to controlling finances.  

7. Connect with God - Whether you believe or not, I think God is with us, guiding our circumstances, performing miracles, and blessing us along our journey.  Taking time outs to pray and/or connecting in your special way with God brings peace, guidance, assurance, and hope. 

8. Connect with Yourself - Its easy to get consumed with the demands of work, children, spouse, and leave yourself out. Your needs are just as valid and important.  Take time to nurture your own body, mind and spirit.  


I'd love to hear more, leave me your thoughts.....

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Finding Cause and Cure for RA (cont.) - Bikram Yoga ?

 

Back Ground: What is Rheumatoid Arthritis?

RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis) is an autoimmune disease where a person's immune system attacks itself, specifically the synovial fluid in the joints, causing inflammation, stiffness, and in most severe cases immobility and deformity.

What is the Cause?

Research shows that the cause of RA is UNKNOWN.  However, I've done my own personal research, and have compared my findings to my own personal life events, environment, and triggers.  This is my own conclusion.

I believe RA roots from trauma. When we experience trauma, our nervous system automatically responds and tells our brain & body to either 1. Fight, 2. Flight or 3. Freeze. (further reading: Waking the Tiger, by Peter Levine, Phd)  However, unlike animals who shake out the trauma, most humans are left still traumatized inside. We can continue our life as if nothing happened, yet easily find ourselves living in a hyperactive life full of stress as if it is our norm (our own familiarity). This hyperactivity speeds up our immune system with it, combined with the excess stress, our immune system begins to attack itself. It also then begins to attack familiar objects as if they were foreign and can manifest itself into "allergies". 

A book titled "When the Body Says No" by Gabor Mate, suggests that internalized stress and repressed feelings, will manifest itself into illnesses, one of so called mentioned, Rheumatoid Arthritis. See: Pychoneuroimmunology Post

Steps to Healing...

I believe the key to healing involves integrating our mind, body and spirit, allowing God to breath "peace and stillness" into every living cell that still shouts  "HELP".   In addition, loving ourselves enough to eat healthy, sleep at least 8 hours a day, drink 6-8 glasses of water and recognizing our own limits. 

Since I've discovered my own allergies "gluten & eggs", (see: Natural Path Allergy Test Report Post), diet plays a huge roll, eliminating foods that causes further inflammation.

Finally I have been doing bikram yoga once a week for the past 5 weeks. In the heat, as my heart races, I am at the same time, STILL, telling myself that I am safe. My body becomes stronger, my joints more flexible and mobile, and best of all, my mind at peace.  During the savasna pose (rests), I lie in stillness, thanking God and myself for every breath I take.

It's been 5 weeks since I've taken my enbrel injection. Do I flare? .... Sure I do. I notice joint stiffness when I burn the candles on both ends, staying up late night and waking early to care for my toddler and my 5 month old baby. However, I feel better after a yoga class, and the joints that hurt the night before are better the next day.

I will keep you posted and if truly Bikram Yoga will help enough that I can be drug free and since I still breast feed, my baby drug free too. 

RA and Acupuncture during Pregnancy

Acupuncture at Accumamas

Wow, I didn't think I'd be even later with my second child. Lucas was born 40 weeks plus 6 days and was naturally induced with the help of the verbena augment tea.  Erika now is 41 weeks plus 1 day and still quite enjoying life in the womb.  I've had 4 sweeps, 3 doses of the Augment Tea, and finally I thought I'd give acupuncture a try. My midwife recommended Accumamas, who specialize in acupuncture and Chinese medicine during pregnancy. Check them out at: http://acumamas.com/services/


Since I have RA, I tried acupuncture once before for my inflamed wrist, however found that the heat that was added to the needles aggravated my wrist further and my flare got worst. Ever since then, I have not tried again. But, since I'm anxious to see my little Erika out and healthy, I thought I'd give it a go. 

By the time I got Lucas and myself ready, dropped him off at is grandmas, and arrived at my appointment, I was stressed and breathless. My technician was Renee and she didn't seemed bothered that I was a bit late and on the phone the entire time I was filling out the new client questionnaire, but instead said "Take your time... , whenever you are ready.."

After submitting the form, she lead me upstairs to the treatment room and we took about 10 minutes to chat about my concerns and purpose for the treatment. It was quite clear that I was there to induce labor.  I've also learnt that a few factors must work together including:

1. Cervix Effaced
2. Baby's head engaged
3. Cervix moving from anterior to prosterior
4. Contractions
5. Dilated

At my last check up, I was told that the head was low and engaged, but my cervix was still high and about 1.5cm thick and I was dilated about 3cm. She also mentioned that she could feel baby's head, which I couldn't grasp how that could be possible with my cervix being "high" and "thick". But after research and asking Renee, I came to understand the cervix was still in the anterior position and needs to move forward.

Anyhoo, these are probably the big questions:

What was the treatment like? Did it hurt?

I'm absolutely a wimp when it comes to needles but I can tell you honestly, it didn't hurt at all! Some points I didn't even know she had inserted the needles already. She put a point in my forehead, a few in my lower back, a couple in my feet and ankles and one in my hand. She then twisted the needles to stimulate the trigger points and asked me rest for 10 minutes. I of course couldn't rest and wanted to fiddle with my phone and check my emails. I noticed that my hands started to grow weak and when I moved I could then feel the trigger points in my back, so I threw my phone on the floor and rested! She came in as I dozed off and stimulated the points again and left me to rest more. After another 10 minutes, she took the needles off and they came off as discreetly as they were put in.

Did the treatment work?

Here is the BIG question. Well, I must say, I had my doubts and went about my day. I did start to feel a bunch of braxton hicks contracions in the late afternoon. Nothing seemed to be different in the next 24 hours; however, at my next check up, I was told my cervix did shorten from 1.5cm to .5cm and I was 3 - 4cm dilated compared to 2-3cm dilated. There was progress indeed and I did end up giving birth 2 days later to an amazing healthy daughter.  My labor was extremely short and perhaps the acupuncture played a role? I'm not sure, but glad I went.

Did the treatment affect the RA symptoms?

There was no heat involved in this treatment so I did not find that I flared at all afterwards. Another consideration is that RA is suppose to be in remission during the last trimester, but I DID flare a couple days ago before this treatment and tackled it with a dose of Enbrel. 
(Again for those who are curious about Enbrel during Pregnancy, please see my previous post). I called motherrisk to confirm.

Well there you have it. I will post my birth story next. Stay Tuned~

I'm Pregnant Again!!!! - Pregnancy with Rheumatoid Arthritis

We finally went on a trip! Here's an updated photo of us 3 -

It feels like it's been so long, since being pregnant with Lucas.
Lucas is almost 2 and I'm pregnant AGAIN!!!  Soon we will have a picture of 4 of us!

So Girl or Boy? Well .....

IT'S A GIRL!!!

 

I thought I wanted a boy, so that Lucas can have a brother, yet on the day I found it's a girl, I was and still am elated and happy! First and foremost like most parents, I think, as long as the baby is healthy then it's all good! Physically, I've noticed more nausea with this pregnancy than Lucas. Could it be the extra estrogen from having a girl? Also for a brief period, I craved spicy foods which is rare. I'm due February so will definitely post more until then.

Medication During Pregnancy
I'm taking Enbrel for the RA, but only on an as needed basis. Usually when I flare, I have to reflect back on either something I ate, or stress, or a combination of both. (most likely both).
For example, just the other day my LEFT wrist started to flare, which is very rare as my right wrist is the norm these days. I realized that I cheated on my gluten and egg free diet and had ate waffles and eggs, 2 days in a row. Plus, due to some major life changes, I couldn't sleep, and was extremely tired. All this resulted in the flare up. I took Enbrel and the flare went away in days. (For those reading about taking Enbrel while pregnant and are interested in the research I've personally done, please see my post: Is Enbrel Safe While Pregnant?)

 

RA in Remission during Pregnancy?

Most Rheumatologists say, that the RA activity will go into Remission during pregnancy and then comes back with vengeance. For Lucas, this was quasi true. I didn't experience much remission until later in my third tri-mester near the end. As for this pregnancy, I'm 5 months now and still no remission. My wrist are constantly sore,but I am not taking Enbrel as frequently (should be once a week). So far my ultra sound shows nothing abnormal or to be concerned about.

 

I'll definitely keep posting...  Stay tuned...

 

Thanks for Reading and I would love to read about other mommies' with RA experiences...

 

 

Cure to Rheumatoid Arthritis Continued

As I journey I have come to realize that my nervous system is in shock from past traumas which is a factor to me having rheumatoid arthritis. Though now I seem at peace, my body and repressed memories seem to remember and in certain situations I get triggered.

When triggered my flight, fight or freeze mode kicks in and I never understood why until now.

To heal from rheumatoid arthritis I figure I need to deal with healing in several levels that are not mutually exclusive but connected to each other.

1. Physical
2. Emotional
3. Spiritual

Physical
My gluten free diet is definitely helping, but not the cure. If I fall off the band wagon and begin to sneak some wheat in my diet, my joints do feel it right the next morning. I'm still on Enbrel once a week for the mean time.
I figure healing must happen at a deeper level and there is still a disconnect and also a bit of neglect of my body.  So often, I ignore the cries from my body for sleep, healthy food and WATER!! 

Coincidentally and not so "coincidentally", I recently got hired as the accountant at Bikram Vancouver Yoga. I would never do Yoga because it meant I must show my deformed arthritis feet, but what the heck I tried it!
To my surprise, by the end of the class, I didn't care who was looking at my feet. I felt more grounded, better equipped to listen to my body, and detoxified! That was only 1 class!  I'm excited to continue and I know that Bikram Yoga is meant to be for me at this time and this place in my healing journey.


Emotional
Though I feel good, most of the time, deep within, there are still unresolved issues which hinders me from being free to be me. Slowly, I'm breaking out of my shell, accepting and loving who I am. Slowly, I am FEELING the safety that I know is true around me. I believe being emotionally well, doesn't mean feeling good all the time, but equipped to identify, honor and respond to our feelings in a healthy way.

Spiritually
Some may say I fell off the chart here, from operating a Christian book store, to working for a Yoga company, but for me, I see God differently. For now, I have taken God out of the church! He has opened my eyes to his presence in places never imagined.

Here's a story to explain:

Jesus walked up to a girl crying outside the church:
"My daughter, why are you crying?" 


She replied, "They won't let me in because.. (fill in the blank... i.e. I'm gay or I smoke, I .....)..."


Jesus hugs her and says "I'm sorry, I know how you feel. They won't let me in either"  


Not saying that all churches are judgmental, but for me at this time, I need to break free and know my God outside the building. He has lead me to Bikram Yoga, and I believe it's part of his plan to heal me by pointing me back to loving, caring, knowing, integrating, listening, to my body which is a gift from God!

Finding Cure for RA with Natural Remedies while Caring for a Baby

So I ended up my last blog,with:
Next action: continue taking Enbrel, cut out gluten, cut out milk, take multi-vitamins.

Well first off, my "Special Authority" from the government expired, so my meds cost $1,500 for 4 injections. (1 months supply) and as a self employed new mom, I don't get any maternity benefits, nor do I take a salary from my company as I need to pay the workers and partner there first! - How on earth am I to come up with $1,500 each month for meds? It's ridiculous. I try to budget time per day to "work", but really it's not possible with the demands of a baby and sore limbs. I'm starting to realize how limited I am and that I can't be the super mom, I'd like to be.

However, on a brighter note, it is a miracle, that I have not flared badly yet. - Perhaps its cutting out the gluten and milk, or perhaps it's God's hands upon my bones, or perhaps its both. - Either way, I am truly grateful that I am not in too much pain, right now.  1 shot of Enbrel usually helps for 4-6 days before I flare again, and need another shot.  It's like clock work. It's really a miracle that I am not actively flaring badly right now (just my hands) with out Enbrel for a whole week.

As for Baby Lucas :) - He is a bundle of joy from God. - I still love being a mom and can find alternative ways / positions to feed him without directly using my hands. - Being forced off Enbrel might be a good thing, as the med passes into my breast milk to him. Though the doctor said it gets broken down in his tummy and should not affect his immune system, do they really know the truth? - More about Lucas when we visit his doctor at 4 months.
(He's 3 months now)

Finally, lets not forget my husband. He would hate for me to blog about him LOL, but I just want to say that I am very grateful for his love and care.


For those reading with RA, I found some excellent info/resources from Dr. Mercola's site  http://articles.mercola.com/videos.aspx -


Next actions: continue with no gluten and dairy diet, take multi-vitamins and pray! - Enbrel??!! Also, continue with weekly physiotherapy and explore the possibility of a naturalpath.  

Natural Remedies or Enbrel ? - Is there a cure for Rheumatoid Arthritis?

Well I ended off the last post by trying to cut gluten out of my diet to see if it will help with the inflammations and that I would stay clear of Enbrel, since I read of a number of lawsuits, suing Enbrel for causing cancer.

The truth is, I couldn't last 2 days without giving myself another shot. By day 2, places that haven't hurt since 2005 started to flare, like my collar bone and shoulders, in addition to my usual wrists and feet, making it hard to lift myself out of bed.

I couldn't bare the flare ups to see if cutting out gluten would work. Also, since I have a chubby 3 month old baby, I rather be able to pick him up and feed him, than be actively flaring up and bed ridden while testing natural remedies.


Though Cutting Out Gluten does make sense. The year I was diagnosed with RA, I remember being very unhealthy, living off pretzels and coffee while attending full-time school and working nights. High stress, unhealthy diet with excessive gluten, and genetics (my aunt has RA), are probably all common factors contributing to this auto immune disease.


Cutting Out Dairy?
Has any one watched "The Corporations" documentary? It is well worth watching.
From the video, I'm considering cutting out dairy as well since milk production companies inject cows with hormones to produce more milk. Many cows then develop infections (milk ducts get blocked) and hence are also injected with antibiotics. When milking cows, the puss from the infection can get into our milk, along with the hormones and antibiotics. YUCK! The US started to do this in 2002. I'm a type to have cereal with milk for breakfast everyday! I was diagnosed with an auto immune disease in 2005. Perhaps there is a link,  because... get this....  my RA went into remission when I was in China for 4 months  !! Weird. - The milk there tasted very different.

If you are a mom, please check this out: Check out: http://www.babycenter.com/0_bovine-growth-hormone-and-milk-what-you-need-to-know_64389.bc


Next action: continue taking Enbrel, cut out gluten, cut out milk, take multi-vitamins.


My next refill of Enbrel, may not be approved by the government, which means I am responsible for $1,500 which I do not have! So, I will have no shots. So I will update you soon.
:)

Jo

Enbrel Nightmare?

I saw a commercial for the first time about Enbrel.  At first, I was actually excited to see a commercial for the drug I was using; but that quickly faded when near the end a soft spoken lady calmly lists all the possible side effects... cancer..   What? Cancer? Really?

So I went home and googled Enbrel and Cancer to see what came up. Well I found this link:
 http://www.aboutlawsuits.com/enbrel-120/   comments from 2008 - 2011 of people who have lost a loved one while taking Enbrel.  What are the chances?

Its quite the dilemma. If i don't give my self my weekly Enbrel injections, I flare! My dose was due today and I skipped it. I could already feel soreness throughout my wrists, fingers, shoulder and feet.
Time to talk to my Rheumatologists and do some serious praying.

In the meantime, I will try cutting out gluten as I read that this helped someone else with RA.

Keep you posted and please pray for me.

Xoxo,
Jo

Is Enbrel Safe while Pregnant?

During the second trimester, I found that my flare ups were unmanageable and seriously considered going back on Enbrel.  Since Enbrel is a new biologic on the market, not enough studies have been done to consider it a safe drug to take during pregnancy.  It's classified as drug type C - "unknown".  

My rheumatologists recommended that I do not take Enbrel; for the very reason that there is not enough evidence to support Enbrel as a safe drug during pregnancy.  He suggested something more commonly used to cope during pregnancy; however with the drug he suggested, there is a slight chance of cleft palette deformity. No thanks! I didn't even register the name of that one in my memory. 

As I continued to research online, I came across an article by Otis:
http://www.otispregnancy.org/files/etanercept.pdf

I then spoke with a representative to ask in details the results of their studies done on pregnant women who have taken Enbrel.  The total sample of women at that time were 900, and none showed any deformities or harm to fetus due to Enbrel.  - 900 women within the entire United States is not a large sample at all, so I understand the caution medical professionals take when recommending Enbrel.

Some of you might be googleing Enbrel and Pregnancy as I did the same to read personal experiences from Moms who have taken Enbrel. I personally found that all of these mothers had healthy babies and none reported any problems accept for the feeling of "guilt".

After the June 15th incident (please see Coping with Flare Ups During Pregnancy- Spiritually), I decided to proceed with Enbrel. If anything were to happen to my child because of this decision, I seriously would not forgive myself, but something within me, assured me that it will ok. 

My doctor has been closely monitoring me and I've had 3 ultra sounds already and am due in 3 days now.
So far everything seems "normal".

Please stay tuned and I will keep you posted on how our new family is doing after birth. 

3, 2, 1....