38 Weeks Pregnant and WAITING!!!

 The count down begins and as I'm closer to the birth of my second child, I am experiencing all but familiar behaviours as I did with Lucas such as:


Insomnia - Mid Night Awakenings
As if my body is training for the round the clock feeds, I wake up in the middle of the night (such as now) and simply can't sleep.  A portion is probably due to maternal instinct and preparation and the other portion, simply anxiety. 

Nesting
Just the other day I went to London Drugs to buy storage boxes. I wasn't quite sure what I was going to store in the 10 boxes I bought!!! LOL!!! As I checked out, the lady behind me said "Looks like Mama bear is Nesting!"  and like that it all of a sudden made sense - Yes I AM Nesting! I want to get my home clean and organized for our new arrival! 

Adding to the Labor Bag
I prepared for Lucas's (my first son) labor bag much more in advance.  I suppose with this one I know now what the hospital provides and what is NOT necessary - such as packing a YOGA BALL!  You should have seen what I had packed for Lucas's birth. It was insane.  This time round, I have just what I need and am still adding to it as things come up.

• Clothes and blanky for our new born girl
• Nightgown and slippers for me
• Juice boxes for energy and thirst
• Car seat
• Outdoor suit for our little girl
• NB diapers and baby wipes (hospital will provide as well)
• Reminder to grab phone charger, purse, and toiletry

Anxiety
I've been measuring small every visit for example, my last doctors visit was at 37 weeks and I should be at 37cm from pelvic bone to top of the uterus; however, I'm at 35 weeks. I went in for an ultrasound and the technician had to measure 7 times around the baby's belly until she was confident that she's ok! So a part of me is wondering if she will be healthy! Did I not eat, sleep or rest enough?

Also I'm still waiting for maternity benefits after 1 month from applying to service canada. I certainly hope I don't have to go through maternity leave without pay again! But if I did it once, I can do it again. Just frustrating as I've been paying EI since I was 13 and have well contributed into our system.

Finally I'm anxious about the delivery. Will I be stuck in traffic? Will I have time to drop off Lucas first? As some of you know I've moved away further from Vancouver, so the distance from BC Women's Hospital worries me as I"m absolutely NOT the home birth type of gal. I NEED THE EPIDURAL!

Last but not least, I received our first gas bill from Fortis BC and its $540! We just moved in for 26 days! This is insane and if it is what it is I'm afraid we can't afford this.

Body Aches and Pains
Well my upper back is killing me along with annoying lower back pain and swollen feet. I went for a prenatal massage just the other day and it was GREAT! However, the relief didn't last long. The pelvis pains as I've read seem to be common as the baby drops lower into the pelvic bone. As for the RA flares, it hasn't been that bad (except for occasional shoulders and odd finger), so I've steered clear of taking my usual Enbrel shots this time.  Overall these bodily unconforts will end soon and I know I will be overwhelmed with Love for my new baby and family that I won't even notice it.

Well thanks for joining me with this rant! I'm sure I'm not the only 38 week preggo lady waiting .....

xoxo

Product Review: Vichy Nutrilogie Baume - LOVE IT

I first bought this Vichy Nutrilogie Baume on sale at Shoppers for something like $22.99 and I absolutely LOVE IT!!! 

The cream at first seemed thick to the touch and too rich by appearance, yet my skin just soaked it up and both felt and looked great afterwards!! I go through 1 jar 1 month and am on my third jar (picking up whatever stock is left at Shoppers). The best test whether a cream is too rich for me is whether I break out and I have not so far after 3 months! My skin truly feels more moist and supple and not greasy like some creams. The scent is light and sweet and I highly recommend this. For me I use it as a daily moisterizer :)

Great price, great quality, great value.

For  more info:
http://www.en.vichy.ca/Nutrilogie/Dry-to-very-dry-skin/Balm-Intensive-cream-for-very-dry-skin-p862.aspx

I'm Pregnant Again!!!! - Pregnancy with Rheumatoid Arthritis

We finally went on a trip! Here's an updated photo of us 3 -

It feels like it's been so long, since being pregnant with Lucas.
Lucas is almost 2 and I'm pregnant AGAIN!!!  Soon we will have a picture of 4 of us!

So Girl or Boy? Well .....

IT'S A GIRL!!!

 

I thought I wanted a boy, so that Lucas can have a brother, yet on the day I found it's a girl, I was and still am elated and happy! First and foremost like most parents, I think, as long as the baby is healthy then it's all good! Physically, I've noticed more nausea with this pregnancy than Lucas. Could it be the extra estrogen from having a girl? Also for a brief period, I craved spicy foods which is rare. I'm due February so will definitely post more until then.

Medication During Pregnancy
I'm taking Enbrel for the RA, but only on an as needed basis. Usually when I flare, I have to reflect back on either something I ate, or stress, or a combination of both. (most likely both).
For example, just the other day my LEFT wrist started to flare, which is very rare as my right wrist is the norm these days. I realized that I cheated on my gluten and egg free diet and had ate waffles and eggs, 2 days in a row. Plus, due to some major life changes, I couldn't sleep, and was extremely tired. All this resulted in the flare up. I took Enbrel and the flare went away in days. (For those reading about taking Enbrel while pregnant and are interested in the research I've personally done, please see my post: Is Enbrel Safe While Pregnant?)

 

RA in Remission during Pregnancy?

Most Rheumatologists say, that the RA activity will go into Remission during pregnancy and then comes back with vengeance. For Lucas, this was quasi true. I didn't experience much remission until later in my third tri-mester near the end. As for this pregnancy, I'm 5 months now and still no remission. My wrist are constantly sore,but I am not taking Enbrel as frequently (should be once a week). So far my ultra sound shows nothing abnormal or to be concerned about.

 

I'll definitely keep posting...  Stay tuned...

 

Thanks for Reading and I would love to read about other mommies' with RA experiences...

 

 

Product Review: Hydroxatone & Bellaplex - Risk Free Trial?

Product Review: Hydroxatone & Bellaplex

I came across an online ad for Hydroxatone - risk free trial for 30 days and only pay $1.99 shipping. The online reviews sounded fabulous except for a few which warned that it was a scam. Well, some said it's better than botox so I had to try it for myself.

Here's my experience and hopefully this can help someone else who is on the border line of trying out this so called "risk free" trial.

Cost Upon Arrival:
 I ordered the trial for Hydroxatone and Bella plex. Both came separately and I had to pay roughly $30 each for duties, so $60 in total. What a terrible start.

Product:
One of the Bellaplex pump was broken so I had to dip my finger in the container to try. I didn't like the texture or the smell. The cream seemed to just sit on my skin and didn't work for me.

Hydroxatone on the other hand worked really well at first. My skin soaked it up immediately.
It didn't get rid of lines like some of the reviews claimed, however, it did make my skin feel soft, moist, and supple. I continued to use this for about a month. After a while I did find that my skin was breaking out and since then I've stopped.

Returns:
I called the customer service line from my cell phone and I kept getting someone hang up on me. So I called from another number and reached a service agent. He was very helpful and gave me a return number for the Bellaplex. He talked me into keeping the 2 jars of Hydroxatone for a fee of $59 which since I liked the product and would have to pay $30 to ship it back anyways, I'd go for it.

As directed I packaged and shipped the jars back with the return number provided and thought it was the end of it.

More Billing:
Their accounting department must be really messed up because I started seeing monthly charges on my bill for the autoship program. It was very frustrating to see this on my bill; however when I did call in to complain, they did rectify it by returning the funds to my card.

Bottom Line:
Bellaplex didnt' work for me. Hydroxatone is good, but not like botox as it claims. As a daily regime, Hydroxatone is very rich for me and I started to break out.  Do expect to pay duties! I was extremely disappointed about this as I purchased a trial product.  Further more, don't be surprised if there are billing errors and that you are still billed after you return the product. They did however, refund me the over charges.

Mommy Tips & Lessons from My Child

I often reflect on how being a mom has changed me and enriched my life and thought it would be good to share this today.

1. Respect & Love - In order to teach your child to respect and love himself and others; you must respect and love yourself. There are times for selfless sacrifices; but just remember, you need to be healthly to take care of your child. So take time out for mommy to rejeuvenate, self care, and relax.

2. Express! - Notice how children express their feelings with no hesitation. They cry when something bothers them, and laugh easily at simple amusements. They find joy in almost everything around them. It's important to notice and express your feelings in a healthy way and explore what brings you joy (one of mine is writing).

3. Don't Be Shy! - When my son sees children, he goes right up to them and joins in on what they are doing whether it be eating or playing. He is not shy at all and there is no hint of our common "fear of rejection".  The children too are welcoming and accepting! The more the merrier!
As adults, we have lost this hospitality and beleive its socially awkward. We can learn alot about community, love, acceptance and playfulness watching children interact with each other.

4. Forgive Quickly - One minute Lucas is mad that I took away his toy and the next minute he is kissing me on the cheek. Children express their discontentment right away, maybe throw a fit, and then they are ok! We as adults have somehow learned to bury our discontentment so deep that it becomes resentment and we hold grudges for who knows how long. Perhaps children forgive quickly aslo due to their short-term memory, but regardless there is a freedom when we forgive.

5. Unconditional Love - I love my son no matter what he does or doesn't do, no matter how naughty he can be, or perhaps behave like an angel, regardless, he is my son and I LOVE HIM UNCONDITIONALLY.  Do I offer this same kind of love to myself? Am I quick to say I hate myself when I ".........".  Being a mom has given me the capacity to love unconditionally and my child is teaching me how to extend this not only to him but myself and others.

6. Love our Bodies! - Children are amused at every inch of their bodies. They love their little toes, kiss themselves in the mirror and will not say or think "oh my arms are too big, or tummy to fat". No, children LOVE their bodies, the way it looks and the way it moves, everthing about it.

7. Be Curious - Children are so curious of everything around them and love to explore! Lets not loose that child like curiosity when we become adults. Our lives is a life time of learning, loving, living, and laughing.

Health Update - Finding Cure for Rheumatoid Arthritis

page contents First I'd like to begin, by confirming that Lucas is a healthy growing boy!!  I was worried that by taking Enbrel throughout my pregnancy and breastfeeding may have compromised his immune system, but he has not gotten sick once yet and from his check ups, he is doing GREAT!  Yeah for healthy baby! Also Yeah to Otis Research Centre for providing me with research info.

As for myself, I've cut out gluten, eggs, and mushrooms and have found this helpful with minimizing inflammations. Of course my right wrist is a constantly sore and inflamed a bit and I've grown now to accept it as my norm.

I'd like to explore how deep breathing, relaxation, and mindfulness can help with calming my auto immune / nervous system.  Perhaps my body still thinks I'm in a threatening situation. If you know my growing up, everywhere I turned, it was unsafe. I think my body is still triggered and needs to somehow know, that I am now safe.  This will take time and effort. 

To reserve time to nurture and love myself is quite a difficult task for a mom, part-time accountant, part-time bookstore partner, wife, and friend. However, I do believe this is important.  Being on the go go go all the time is NOT healthy!

Perhaps going to the SPA would be therapeutic! :) 

Cure to Rheumatoid Arthritis Continued

As I journey I have come to realize that my nervous system is in shock from past traumas which is a factor to me having rheumatoid arthritis. Though now I seem at peace, my body and repressed memories seem to remember and in certain situations I get triggered.

When triggered my flight, fight or freeze mode kicks in and I never understood why until now.

To heal from rheumatoid arthritis I figure I need to deal with healing in several levels that are not mutually exclusive but connected to each other.

1. Physical
2. Emotional
3. Spiritual

Physical
My gluten free diet is definitely helping, but not the cure. If I fall off the band wagon and begin to sneak some wheat in my diet, my joints do feel it right the next morning. I'm still on Enbrel once a week for the mean time.
I figure healing must happen at a deeper level and there is still a disconnect and also a bit of neglect of my body.  So often, I ignore the cries from my body for sleep, healthy food and WATER!! 

Coincidentally and not so "coincidentally", I recently got hired as the accountant at Bikram Vancouver Yoga. I would never do Yoga because it meant I must show my deformed arthritis feet, but what the heck I tried it!
To my surprise, by the end of the class, I didn't care who was looking at my feet. I felt more grounded, better equipped to listen to my body, and detoxified! That was only 1 class!  I'm excited to continue and I know that Bikram Yoga is meant to be for me at this time and this place in my healing journey.


Emotional
Though I feel good, most of the time, deep within, there are still unresolved issues which hinders me from being free to be me. Slowly, I'm breaking out of my shell, accepting and loving who I am. Slowly, I am FEELING the safety that I know is true around me. I believe being emotionally well, doesn't mean feeling good all the time, but equipped to identify, honor and respond to our feelings in a healthy way.

Spiritually
Some may say I fell off the chart here, from operating a Christian book store, to working for a Yoga company, but for me, I see God differently. For now, I have taken God out of the church! He has opened my eyes to his presence in places never imagined.

Here's a story to explain:

Jesus walked up to a girl crying outside the church:
"My daughter, why are you crying?" 


She replied, "They won't let me in because.. (fill in the blank... i.e. I'm gay or I smoke, I .....)..."


Jesus hugs her and says "I'm sorry, I know how you feel. They won't let me in either"  


Not saying that all churches are judgmental, but for me at this time, I need to break free and know my God outside the building. He has lead me to Bikram Yoga, and I believe it's part of his plan to heal me by pointing me back to loving, caring, knowing, integrating, listening, to my body which is a gift from God!